ANGER

Anger shows itself in many ways - bitterness, envy, disappointment, physical aggressiveness, and depression to name a few.  Many times our anger is justified; someone has hurt us, or we didn't get a deserved job promotion.  Sometimes we turn our anger toward those who participate in activities that we find offensive.

Generally, our anger has its root in our attempts to preserve one of three areas - 1) our worth; 2) our needs; or 3) our convictions.  A person who belittles us threatens our worth.  A person who steals from us may keep us from getting our needs met, and a person who participates in activities that we find offensive may violate our strong convictions.

Anger is normal - anger is expected, but anger doesn't have to get the best of you.  God knows all, and although He doesn't say revenge is wrong, He does say that revenge belongs to HIM and HIM alone.  "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge, I will repay,' says the Lord" (Romans 12:19).

The Bible says it is okay to get angry but not to sin as a result.  (Ephesians 4:26)  If you have been belittled, God knows that, and He knows what position at work is best for you.  He also is heartbroken to see lives that are destroyed each day.  We don't know when or how or where, but we know He will take care of those situations for us.  "May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed" (Genesis 27:29).  It is really a matter of trust and turning the situation over to the loving care of God

Our responsibility, on the other hand, is to be obedient to God's Word which says (brace yourself) "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you" (Luke 6:27-28).  Oh boy, that's certainly not easy, is it?  But I can tell you that if you are obedient to those things God will replace your anger with peace, and the burden will be lifted from you.

What if you are angry with God?  If you examine your anger you may have to admit to yourself that you are angry with God because a certain situation didn't work out the way you wanted it to.  Now, the hard part; admitting to God that you are angry.  That's right! Don't you think He knows already?  He understands your disappointments, your fears, and your frustrations.  As always, the first step is being honest with yourself and with the Lord.  So, cry out to Him, tell Him how you feel.  Remember that He wants only the best for you, and sometimes events that seem bad at the time turn out to be the best for you.  If you think about it, you'll more than likely think of a situation like that in your life.  Let Stepping Stones Restoration Ministry help you with your anger problems.

"Trust in the LORD with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5,6).                                                                                             

UNFORGIVENESS

Think of a person who has hurt you badly, then imagine that person walking into the room, and coming towards you.  Do you feel a knot in your stomach?  That could be a sign of unforgiveness.

Although many times you may feel you are "paying back" people who hurt you by cutting them out of your life, many times it is you who ends up in misery.  Yes, the truth is, you may hold unforgiveness in your heart for many years and the other person goes on to have a wonderful life never thinking about how they hurt you.

Unforgiveness is a cancer that starts out as anger over the immediate hurt, and ages into bitterness.  With time, it continues to eat at you, spreading until it affects not only your relationship with the person who hurt you, but others around you as well.

God understands this hurt, and wants you to know that you can only go forward with your life if you move beyond the past.  That very often includes forgiving those who hurt you.  Let's talk about what forgiveness is not.  Forgiveness is not an admission that they were right and you were wrong.  Forgiveness is not saying that you should stay in a relationship where you are being mistreated.  Forgiveness is not something that absolutely has to be given to a person face to face.  Fact is, many times the person who wounded you is no longer alive, and most of all, forgiveness is not a sign of weakness as many think.  It takes a lot of God-given strength to forgive.

When a person is 100% wrong, you are to forgive them anyway.  Why?  Because Jesus said to forgive others, keeping in mind that you need forgiveness as well.  "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:14-15).

The Bible says that when we sin, we sin against God and God alone (Psalm 51:4).  If a person lied to or about you, or abused you sexually, the sin was against God.  The fact of the matter is that God will forgive that person if they ask for it, so we have no right to withhold forgiveness.  That is not to say that the person won't have consequences as a result of their actions, but the consequences should never come from us.  "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'Vengeance is mine; I will repay' says the Lord" (Romans 12:19).

What if I can't forgive myself?  You may have had an abortion, taken drugs, or just been released from prison.  You may feel that the pile of sins you have committed are all bunched up, and you are carrying them around in a backpack which is weighing you down.  Do you know that "...your sins have been forgiven on account of Jesus' name" (1 John 2:12)?  Also,  1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."  If God is willing to forgive you in Jesus' name then you need to accept this total forgiveness, which includes forgiving yourself, and you can be cleansed all at once of every sin - past, present, and future if you accept the sacrifice that Jesus made for you on the Cross.  Stepping Stones Restoration Ministry can help you find forgiveness.  (See Taking The First Step on the Contact Us Page)                                                                                             

GUILT

"I'm being punished for all the bad things I've done.  That is why everything is going wrong in my life.  I'll never be able to be happy because 'what goes around comes around', and I'm being repaid for my past sins.  It's just karma."

Is this how you feel?  Well, that is understandable, but it is not scripturally-based.  It is true that you reap what you sow, and in your life there will be natural consequences for certain actions.  For example, if you drink excessively, it may cost you your job.  But does that mean you will never be able to hold down a job again in your life?  Of course not.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness"(1 John 1:9).  That's right, if you acknowledge your sin and ask for forgiveness, you are cleansed of that sin immediately!  Now, that does not necessarily mean that you will get the same job back (although with God anything is possible), but it also does not mean that you will never work again.  When you confess your sin, God throws it into the sea of forgetfulness, and will never bring it back up to you again.  You can go boldly to His throne of Grace and ask for His guidance for the strength to stop drinking, and a new job.  He will guide you, step by step, day by day, hour by hour, even minute by minute, if necessary.

If God has forgiven me, why do I still feel guilty?  God forgives you the instant you repent, and ask for forgiveness.  Repent means to turn away from.  You cannot play God for a fool; He knows if you ask for forgiveness with the intention in your heart to commit the same sin again.  If you sincerely desire to stop sinning in a particular area, he will forgive you.  Yes, even if you slip and commit the same offense again.  There is no limit to God's mercy, it reaches to the heavens, and is new every morning.  "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23).  

Let me give you a little "study" on the difference between conviction and condemnation.  The Bible says that God convicts to (for the purpose of and ending at) repentance.  That guilty feeling you have after gossiping, or taking drugs (hey, sin is sin) is conviction from the Lord.  As you grow more and more, you will get that prompting inside that will remind you that you need to get things right with God.  Again, as you go to God and admit your wrong-doing, and vow not to do that thing again (repent), you will have been convicted to repentance, and you are forgiven.  The end.

Condemnation, in contrast, does not come from God.  It comes from our enemy - the devil.  The scriptures say that Jesus did not come to earth with the purpose of bringing condemnation into the world, but with the desire that through Him all would be Saved (John 3:17).  However, the enemy wants to condemn you to death.  He comes to steal your peace, kill your future, and destroy your relationship with God (John 10:10).  God will not keep throwing your forgiven sin in your face.  He says that mercy triumphs over judgment, and that He will restore you.

If you have accepted Christ as your substitute in the pardoning of your sin (see "Taking the First Step on our CONTACT US page), and you are continually reminded of sins that you have been forgiven of, recognize those tormenting thoughts as coming from the devil, not God.  If you really want to get the devil off of your back try this-when the devil reminds you of your past, then remind him of his future!  You can read it for yourself in Revelation 20:10 (Navigational Hint: Revelation is the last book in the Bible).  As a matter of fact, I read it aloud to the devil all of the time.  Remember, if you resist the devil, he will flee (James 4:7).  Stepping Stones Restoration Ministry can help you be free from guilt.